Friday, May 26, 2006
An incident that occurred not too long ago has forced me to write this post. All the sisters out there married, engaged, engaged to be married, waiting to be engaged, or simply engaging in activities they shouldn’t be in, following is a list of tips to help you out with your significant other:
1. Don’t try and have a ‘deep, meaningful’ conversation with him when he’s watching a game – especially if it’s his favorite hockey team in the Stanley Cup finals!
2. Even if you are, don’t tell him you’re better at driving. This is analogous to the ‘Do I look fat in this dress?’ question which has ONLY one answer……..and then there’s the couch.
3. He’s not Sherlock Holmes (heck, he even has trouble playing the sidekick role of Dr. Watson) so if something is wrong, mention it instead of hoping he’ll figure it out because most of the times he likely won’t (playing detective is not usually part of the contract).
4. He’s not Superman either so don’t expect him to fix the computer and the car, turn the backyard into a rainforest, write poetry, quote Shakespeare, compete in the Olympics, save the whales, cure cancer, know how to do the salsa--all the while killing spiders with one hand tied behind his back.
5. He generally means well and tries his best to learn the subtleties. Try to work with him instead of using it as leverage at the most opportune moment that can inflict the maximum damage (this is not Halo where you power up and shoot one mega hit to kill the opponent). Keep in mind the objective is not to keep tally of who has screwed up the most.
NOTE: If you have a sudden urge to leave an ‘angry, attacking, and anonymous’ comment, please refer to the last point.
1. Don’t try and have a ‘deep, meaningful’ conversation with him when he’s watching a game – especially if it’s his favorite hockey team in the Stanley Cup finals!
2. Even if you are, don’t tell him you’re better at driving. This is analogous to the ‘Do I look fat in this dress?’ question which has ONLY one answer……..and then there’s the couch.
3. He’s not Sherlock Holmes (heck, he even has trouble playing the sidekick role of Dr. Watson) so if something is wrong, mention it instead of hoping he’ll figure it out because most of the times he likely won’t (playing detective is not usually part of the contract).
4. He’s not Superman either so don’t expect him to fix the computer and the car, turn the backyard into a rainforest, write poetry, quote Shakespeare, compete in the Olympics, save the whales, cure cancer, know how to do the salsa--all the while killing spiders with one hand tied behind his back.
5. He generally means well and tries his best to learn the subtleties. Try to work with him instead of using it as leverage at the most opportune moment that can inflict the maximum damage (this is not Halo where you power up and shoot one mega hit to kill the opponent). Keep in mind the objective is not to keep tally of who has screwed up the most.
NOTE: If you have a sudden urge to leave an ‘angry, attacking, and anonymous’ comment, please refer to the last point.
Faraz Ahmed 9:52 a.m.
8 Comments:
Faraz, I must say, you're getting wiser and wiser lol. Where did you get the experience to write of such things!? ;).
"He’s not Superman either so don’t expect him to fix the computer and the car, turn the backyard into a rainforest, write poetry, quote Shakespeare, compete in the Olympics, save the whales, cure cancer, know how to do the salsa--all the while killing spiders with one hand tied behind his back."
Ameen ameen. Sisters be too choosey these days.
"He’s not Superman either so don’t expect him to fix the computer and the car, turn the backyard into a rainforest, write poetry, quote Shakespeare, compete in the Olympics, save the whales, cure cancer, know how to do the salsa--all the while killing spiders with one hand tied behind his back."
Ameen ameen. Sisters be too choosey these days.
Everyone's choosey these dayz, not just the sisters.
But then again, you usually get only one shot at it so better make it a good one.
But then again, you usually get only one shot at it so better make it a good one.
Quite a lot of female bashing going on in here. Hehehe
So let me get this straight. You want a female who can talk sports talk in order to have deep meaningful conversations, pretend to enjoy the car ride while secretly bartering with god for her life, know that sherlock holmes probably seeped all the intelligence out of her man while he was reading the Sherlock Holme series as a boy and generally be ready to remind you who's turn it is to apologize, and most importantly know that while he's no superman he's also no Dexter. So he's bound to forget half the things in your grocery list.
What choosy sisters? There's not much of a choice there! Lol! And not much of a shot.
So let me get this straight. You want a female who can talk sports talk in order to have deep meaningful conversations, pretend to enjoy the car ride while secretly bartering with god for her life, know that sherlock holmes probably seeped all the intelligence out of her man while he was reading the Sherlock Holme series as a boy and generally be ready to remind you who's turn it is to apologize, and most importantly know that while he's no superman he's also no Dexter. So he's bound to forget half the things in your grocery list.
What choosy sisters? There's not much of a choice there! Lol! And not much of a shot.
I dunno if we were bashing on sisters but just getting a few things across that usually get lost in all the mayhem.
And why can't I have someone who is 'Shirley' Holmes and Catwoman in one? Not to mention, she does grocery shopping alone, compliments me on my driving, expects me to forget her bday, anniversary, and all such dates that are too hard for me to recall let alone remember the specific dates!
Come on, that is not too much to ask for at all...and I'm not being choosy either ;-)
And why can't I have someone who is 'Shirley' Holmes and Catwoman in one? Not to mention, she does grocery shopping alone, compliments me on my driving, expects me to forget her bday, anniversary, and all such dates that are too hard for me to recall let alone remember the specific dates!
Come on, that is not too much to ask for at all...and I'm not being choosy either ;-)
So basically you are entitled to super woman while the superwoman must settle for a guy who cannot remember the grocery list or important dates and who needs a constant ego boost:P
Now that I think about it. That does sound like half the men around.
Lol! But hey, as long as you're a free bird, you're entitled to hoping for superwoman. For all you know, there just might be a miracle.
Now that I think about it. That does sound like half the men around.
Lol! But hey, as long as you're a free bird, you're entitled to hoping for superwoman. For all you know, there just might be a miracle.
There we go. I'm glad we got all that cleared up.
Now, where to find this 'superwoman?'
*puts on his thinking cap*
Now, where to find this 'superwoman?'
*puts on his thinking cap*
Lol! In your dreams sounds like a reasonable place to start looking:P
hahaha...good answer :-)