Tales of a Solitary Soul

I must say that not going to the ski trip was one of the smartest decisions I've made in a while. Not only did my mom's condition get worse but also the furnace stopped working. If it was not for the fireplace, we'd be living in sub zero temperatures. But alhumdillah, the furnace is fixed now (after four hours of waiting) and mom's condition is getting better. But the house is taking its own sweet time to heat up and it is still chilly enough to not put my bare foot on the floor.

Japan represents quite the paradox. It has caught up on the technological race in a couple of generations (since its destruction in second world war) but as my friend's father, who worked in Japan for a short time time, described it as a "soulless society where people work for twenty hours and sleep in small tubes."
I had studied the Japanese language for a couple of years (and Japan in general). Looking back on it, I do feel an absence of spirituality that one normally finds in eastern cultures. My outlook did not improve as I read some more articles. I had always been aware of the high suicide rate prevalent in their society, especially of students. But I came across an article that listed how 'suicide rings' were being formed on the net in Japan where people die in groups. Now this is probably a small fraction of japanese population but the mere existence of it signals a deep problem.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/newsnight/4071805.stm

Not too long after, I came across another distrubing trend which was disguised under the mask of a 'business opurtunity.'

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/4092345.stm

It seemed to me that being at the apex of human advancement had still not bought them the simple comforts of life. Around this time, I came across an article of two Japanese women converting to Islam because of the spiritual peace that it provided. At the same time, it did not try and hinder their progress in this world. The women spoke about a growing discontent in Japan awakened by the realization that the material world itself cannot provide all the peace in life.

http://www.islamonline.net/english/journey/jour52.shtml

On a different note, some verses that I like:

"He it is Who sends down water from the cloud for you; it gives drink, and by it (grow) the trees upon which you pasture.
He causes to grow for you thereby herbage, and the olives, and the palm trees, and the grapes, and of all the fruits; most surely there is a sign in this for a people who reflect.
And He has made subservient for you the night and the day and the sun and the moon, and the stars are made subservient by His commandment; most surely there are signs in this for a people who ponder" (an-nahl verses 10-12)

Alhumdillah, the food drive went quite well. Maybe not in the terms of volunteers but rather in the execution phase. We seem to be getting better at organization but there is still a loooong way to go. It alwayz amazes me how much we are able to collect with such few people. We collected almost four bags, which is quite a lot for the number of people that were there (in a time limit of an hour).

I cancelled on the ski trip. Not only was I sick but also my mom. I would have still gone if it was just me but I cant just leave my mom coughing and wheezing (especially with no one else around). But I must say, I was really looking forward to this trip but I guess this is how Allah willed.

The tsunami in Asia is a very sad event. The human cost is horrendous and the death toll seems to be rising exponentially every passing day. The southeast asia is the last place I would pick to be hit by a disaster because of the lack of infrastructure and relief. Insha Allah, I will make dua'h for them to make things easier.

I know quite a few people who belong and have relatives in the region. Any one of them could have been there on vacation and could have shared a similar fate. It does bring a question to mind? If I was destined to die tommorrow, could I say I have done enough????

Sorry for the absence of posts. The last three days have been incredibly busy.

From losing badly in a pool tournament (though we did beat the tournament winning team) to having a 10-hour LORD OF THE RINGS marathon (i can still watch it again!!), its been quite fun the last few days. Next up on the menu: Food drive and the ski trip to Jasper.

Everything seems set for the food drive so insha Allah it should go off without a hitch. My only concern is our total lack of knowledge on the main variable: number of volunteers. Hopefully, not too many nor too few decide to show up.

The ski trip seems to be shaping up quite well. I was a little hesitant about it after finding out that not too many people had signed up for it. But there seems to be a reasonable number of people now.

I spent almost the whole weekend at al-rashid and masha Allah that mosque is buzzing with excitement. It always feels like a big event is taking place, even though it might not be. That is the way a mosque should be. It should be just a place of worship but rather a centre of social activity. We can really take some serious lessons to improve things in the south side.

Read a very interesting article about the action needed by muslims in US or the West generally. Its a good read and an even better wake up call. Recommended to everyone who thinks making it to the West has made it for them.

http://www.chowk.com/show_article.cgi?aid=00003056&channel
=gulberg&start=0&end=9&chapter=1&page=1

There is a general feeling among muslims nowadays about a lack of compatibility between islam and science. People tend to feel that if they become more religious, they will be forced to give up their 'wordly' studies. I can understand, to an extent, why such a suggestion can seep into our minds.

The thoughts in my mind were not about if such a union is possible but rather a general despair on the absence of great minds from the muslims in the 20th century. Such a feeling first surfaced when we were discussing a book by Sheikh Ali al-Tantawi. Though the book was not about philosophy, it did have some discussions on it. The thing that caught my eye was when it mentioned some of the works done by a Muslim scholar named al-Ghazali. The excerpt talked about how the early muslim scholars dealt with existenialism and the realm of reality. These works were so good that at the time it was used as a study tool in universities around the world. Not only that, centuries later philosophers like Decartes also dealt with similar subjects.
To sum it up, I saw an era of enlightenment for Muslims when they were not afraid of going into different fields and producing the brightest minds. Not only were these people gifted with the knowledge of this world, but they carried this out while being scholars in the Islamic field too!!!!!

Thus they had not limited themselves to one aspect but had rather conquered both facets of life and showed the world that Islam is the only religion that urges mankind to seek knowledge of all kinds because it knows that no scientific law will ever conflict with any religious belief.

"Who created the seven heavens one above another; you see no incongruity in the creation of the Beneficent Allah; then look again, can you see any disorder?
Then turn back the eye again and again; your look shall come back to you confused while it is fatigued." (mulk v:3-4)

These were the very verses that started the speech of the first muslim Nobel Laureat Abdus Salam. An expert in theoretical physics, he excelled at every level. He is considered one of the greatest minds of the 20th century due to extensive research in physics. His colleagues include the likes of Albert Eisntein. He also has a research facility in Italy named after him.
But at the same time, he did not forget his religion or his country. He had fierces discussions with Russel and Einstein on Islam and he even refused a post at one of the top universites in england so he can work in Pakistan. Islam reflected in his every move as he would often quote quranic verses in his lecture.

http://www.chowk.com/show_article.cgi?aid=00004400&channel=university%20ave

Time after time, we see examples and yet we choose to disbelieve. People do not realize that it is not Islam that holds them back from success but rather their own deficiencies. Its easy to point at a religion but harder to look within oneself. Even after clear instructions to gain worldly and religious knowledge, naysayers (be it muslims or non-muslims) will say the opposite trying to lay seeds of doubt which are nothing but their own failings.

So my computer decided to betray me. I had worked on the technical report from home and was about to email it so back to my work computer. As fate would have it, the computer decided to stop working. As you can imagine my disgust and desparation were all combined into one outburst of kicking and punching the computer. Needless to say, that only made things worse.
In my defense, I never thought this would happen. I mean you hear it happen to other people but you just assume it will never happen to yourself. I always thought the odds of my computer breaking down two days before the due date is like the odds of me making a Ferrari run faster by hammering away at its engine indiscriminately.
I guess it just means that I will have to work twice as hard over the next two days to finish the report.
LESSON FOR THE FUTURE: save a copy of documents on five different disks just in case the computer crashes and disks stop working or get lost (knowing my luck, I would not be surprised)

In other news, Umar is going to Pakistan. I think its the best time of the year to go to avoid the 40 degree plus temperatures that usually dominate during the summer.

I lost my partner for the pool tournament this weekend. But I ended up asking my bro so hopefully we won't come last.

Words seem to be flowing out of me for the technical report I have to do for the work term.
It seemed like a mommoth task at the beginning but alhumdillah, things have seemed to have been made easy for me (relatively speaking).
Just four more days to go for work including today but insha Allah I should have the report done by tuesday. I wonder if I'm being rewarded for a good deed or its just one of Allah's several bounties and gifts that will go unnoticed????

"Truly man was created very impatient;- Fretful when evil touches him; And niggardly when good reaches him;" (ma'arij v. 19-21)

There are no words to describe the artifical palm beaches made off the coast to Dubai. I cannot even begin to list the kind of things that I saw. I think its suffice to say that when I think of paradise, this comes pretty close to it!!!!!!!!!

http://www.palmsales.ca/palm/status.htm

While my jaw had dropped to the ground in amazement, thankfully my brain had not totally given in to these wonders. I had a thought cross my mind. A thought that made me pick my jaw back up and close the window that had attracted me like a fly on a sweet.....

Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's Apostle said, "Allah said, 'I have prepared for my pious worshipers such things as no eye has ever seen, no ear has ever heard of, and nobody has ever thought of."

If this is what can be created by us, then how good must be paradise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm pretty sure many people will save up all their lives or spend insane amount of money to spend like ten, twenty, forty or maybe eight years of their lives in this place if they are lucky. If these people were told that they can have something that is a hundred times better and possess it forever, how would they react????

"A servant was given the choice of becoming a great king on earth or meeting his lord, and he chose to meet his lord..."

So the last week and a half of my work term has begun. Looking back on it, I can say it was not a total success nor a total failure. To evaluate the two jobs would go like this:

First Job - Duration: 4 months
Pros: Good pay, lots of travelling, working independently, relaxed work enivronment
Cons: Not very technical, lots of travelling, physical at times.

Second Job- Duration: 4months
Pros: in-town, quite demanding in terms of engineering, good team to work with, playing soccer at lunch, all kinds of experience (from office to lab)
Cons: Horrible boss, too technical at times, no guidance

Its hard to say which one I liked better. On a short term basis, the first one was better because the pay was very good. But on a long term basis, the second one provided exceptional experience which insha Allah will greatly help me in the future.
There is still the matter of passing the final hurdle: writing a 20-25 page report on my work.

The december event for MAC YOUTH GIVE was assigned to me at the last hour because I am the only one with no exams and thus more time. In hindsight, maybe we should have seen this coming. I guess thats a lesson for the future.

And lastly, some of you might have the seen the comment made on the Dec. 08 blog. I did correspond with the person and offered my clarification. Hopefully the person does not think of me as some kind of selfish, arrogant, and egoistic Muslim anymore.

For years now, I always wondered about who I really was. Here's some interesting things I realized about myself. Maybe someone can figure it out for me.

I don't speak urdu perfectly and ditto for english.
Loved to play cricket but watched hockey for hours on end.
Listened to pakistani songs but watched english movies.
Love Canada for the oppurtunities it has given me.
Love Pakistan like a parent lamenting the recklessness of its child
Believed in the hijab but also in careers for women.
Want the sharia'h but also democracy.
I believe that Adam was the first man but also believe in Darwin's theory of Evolution (not spontaneous generation though) or Mendel's hypotheses on genetics.

What am I??

"And a soul will not die but with the permission of Allah the term is fixed; and whoever desires the reward of this world, I shall give him of it, and whoever desires the reward of the hereafter I shall give him of it, and I will reward the grateful." (al-Imran)

Whatever I am, I hope to be the one who is rewarded the hereafter.

So the boss is finally gone and what a relief it is!!!!!
Finally, I actually look forward to work instead of the dreadful feeling I used to get waking up in the morning (and while at work).

I've been getting a lot of pressure from various people because I have not signed on for the MAC YOUTH GIVE blood drive. The way I look at it everyone has their way of contributing. Some people give money, some clothes, some blood. Its not like I'm against it or anything but its just I do not feel comfortable with it.
And I'm not going to do it just because people are telling me to. Not only would I be doing it for the wrong reasons but also I won't like it.
Insha Allah i'll do it one day on my own terms. Any ways I got a whole bunch of blood tests to worry about in the meantime.

Its interesting how at times we tend to believe lies and propaganda very quickly without waiting to hear the other side (especially if the other side is Muslim). I must admit I did not have the best of the opinions about the Taliban but some recent revelations have started to change my perception.
I read an article about an female Italian journalist who was put in jail by the Taliban before 9/11 for some reason I cannot seem to recall. But the interesting part was that she was expecting very harsh treatment but instead she was treated very nicely with three meals a day. Not only that but the guards repeatedly called her 'sister.' She was so impressed by their manners that while in captivity, she promised them that she would read the Quran.
A short while after her release, she acted upon the promise and ended up converting. Its amazing how some people see the light from the unlikeliest of sources. Its also amazing on how just one facet of Islam made such an impression on her compared to other non-muslims who live among muslims and yet dont see the truth.
This is quite ironic considering the bad rep that the Taliban got for their treatment of women, a white educated female ends up becoming Muslim thanks to them. An incident like this brings this verse to mind:

"Surely you cannot guide whom you love, but Allah guides whom He pleases, and He knows best the followers of the right way." (al-qasas verse56)

Got the good news that my uncle is getting married in Pakistan. But sadly, I will not be able to attend because I have school in the summer (i can thank the co-op program for that). But nonetheless insha Allah my mom will go and bring back all the videos and the pictures.
In this sense, I feel I am very lacking when compared to other Muslims. A vast majority of them have relatives in Canada if not Edmonton (some Arabs have been here for three or four generations), but I do not have any. One can have all the 'best friends' he wants but its just not the same as family.

Read an amazing article on a man named Abdul Sattar Eidhi. He started off with a narrow room as a clinic fifty years ago and now runs the world's largest charity ambulance services in the world. The sacrifices this man has made are amazing and I cannot even bring to count them here. I choked up when I was reading about his life. One small incident I found very touching was that he has not been able to attend any of his children's weddings because he is on call 24-hours a day for the LAST 50 YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.islamicity.com/articles/Articles.asp?ref=SW0412-2541

Also read another articles producing concrete evidence that US forces are categorically targetting civilians, especially doctors, so the real death toll is not revealed in places like Fallujah and Mosul. A good read because it is not based on emotion but rather on hard evidence.
http://arabnews.com/?page=7§ion=0&article=55580&d=5&m=12&y=2004&pix=opinion.jpg&category=Opinion

Interestingly, another case of prisoner abuse has surfaced but this time its with the Navy seals. So much for the American counter arguement to Abu Ghraib being an 'isolated incident.'
Goes to show how much morality really does exist in the army.
http://www.commondreams.org/headlines04/1204-03.htm

Lately for some reason, this verson keeps popping in my head:

"It is not righteousness that you turn your faces towards the East and the West, but righteousness is this that one should believe in Allah and the last day and the angels and the Book and the prophets, and give away wealth out of love for Him to the near of kin and the orphans and the needy and the wayfarer and the beggars and for (the emancipation of) the captives, and keep up prayer and pay the poor-rate; and the performers of their promise when they make a promise, and the patient in distress and affliction and in time of conflicts-- these are they who are true (to themselves) and these are they who guard (against evil)." (baqaraah: verse 177)

Its been a while since I posted anything. I knew sooner or later there would come a period of time when there would be a considerable gap in posts but atleast the good thing is that it was only four days.
Work is getting more pressurized by the day and even though the boss thinks i'm taking the pressure well, I'm actually not. I guess he is just fooled by the calm surface. Little does he know there is a storm underneath.

Finally the MAC meeting is taking place and its about time. Its been cancelled already like four times for various reasons. But insha Allah it will put the wheels in motion for the next event.

I was reading an article about the attack on Falluja the other day. It was interesting how the people being killed were called 'insurgents.' I guess by labelling them in such a way, it makes it easier for everyone to swallow mass casualties. Interesting part was that the puppet Iraqi president Allawi said that no civilians had died in days of heavy bombardment and fighting.
According to this, two things have to be true:

1. Either Allawi went into Falluja and asked every dying man if he was an 'insurgent' and therefore ensured that no civilians died or,
2. the American 'smart bombs' have gotten so smart that they can see inside a person's heart and determine if he is going to fight. If he does, then drop on him.

Now, it is also possible that either of these things happened but if I were a betting man (which I'm not), I'd bet that none of them happened.
If the Americans and the puppet Iraqi govenment wants to win the diplomacy war, they will have to come up with smarter explainations for I know that the Islamic world might not be the brightest fish in the pond but we're not completely stupid either.
http://www.dailystar.com.lb/article.asp?edition_id=10&categ_id=5&article_id=10594

Another interesting report I saw was on British muslims. What I read came as a complete shock to me. Acoording to the report (done by British government) 62% of Muslims are unemployed. I don't think I have ever heard such a high statistic for unemployment. This is I think even worse than Iraq and there is a war going on there!!!!
Not only that, the report said Muslims students had lower marks on average and the teachers did not hold them in high regards. It was very very sad to such a state of the Muslims especially in a county of five million muslims (according to the statistic 3.1 million of them are sitting at home doing nothing).
I cant seem to find the whole document but rather part of it.
http://www.soros.org/resources/articles_publications/publications/eumapmuslims_20040722